Night Vigil

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“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.”  Psalm‬ ‭40:1-3‬

As I write this I am sitting in the ICU keeping a night vigil of prayer for my beloved.

Life can change in an instant.  One morning you are kissing your husband goodbye and just a few hours later you are on your way to ER.  He has had a stroke.

We never plan for these events.  But when faced with them we must decide.  Am I going to be crushed and destroyed?  Or am I going to hold fast to God’s promises of hope and healing?

My choice is in God’s promises of hope and healing.  This is an overwhelming experience, in human terms.  But to our sovereign Lord, it is in His good and perfect will.  This may sound ridiculous to some.  But how could I walk through this if I didn’t believe that God’s hand was on my husband, on me and on our daughters?  I know that I could not.

I don’t know God’s plan for my husband, I don’t need to.  I just need to trust that God, the One who fearfully and wonderfully made my husband, has a perfect one.  I just need to trust in Him and walk with Him.

Psalm 40 encourages me to wait patiently for Him.  In doing so He will lift me out of my dark place and put me on His solid ground.  This time, these days in the hospital are my dark place.  But, I sit and wait because I know that He is sure to rescue me.

My husband is lying in a hospital bed with wires everywhere. He is anxious and cannot find rest.  His brain has been under attach since Monday.  This is his dark place.  I pray that in it He sees Jesus.  I pray believing that Jesus is working diligently on his beautiful brain, restoring it.  I pray for peace in his heart.

The outcome of my beloveds condition is known only to God.  In this I will praise the Lord.  To know the when of his end is not my desire.  My desire is to sing His praises throughout this journey.  And in so doing that others may believe and come to Jesus Christ.

It is now morning.  My beloved is alive.  I am thanking the Lord for yet another miracle.  One day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time.

I find peace and comfort in Jesus’ words.  “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”    Matthew‬ ‭6:25-27, 34

With hoped filled hearts we journey forth,
What lies ahead is unknown.
But fully trust in Jesus Christ,
His scarlet thread to each heart is sown.

We take each moment as His gift,
No matter what it may hold.
For nothing else can hold us up,
For Gods love is more precious than gold.

The sun’s come up on another day,
The nights vigil has come to an end.
Our hope alone is in His great name,
To all our needs He lovingly attends.
Dear Lord, I pray that all who read these words would know that ALL things are possible with You.  May my heart, words and actions reflect only Your light.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Author: debrascowden

I love the Lord with all my heart, soul, body and mind and delight in sharing Jesus with others through my poetry and photography.

6 thoughts on “Night Vigil”

  1. Debra, this is beautiful beyond words. The fragrance of your deep trust and praise to Him, our all in all, is lovely and ministered to my heart. My journey is greatly impacted by yours. My love and prayers for you and your family continue.

  2. Debra,
    I am moved to tears to learn that Scott is going through this, and that you and the girls are also experiencing great difficulty. We pray for all of you for continuing strength. Your faith is your bedrock and God will see you to the other side of this.
    Love,
    Angie

  3. Your words are an encouragement to all, God has a plan for you & your family.
    My Church in Mazatlan is in prayer for you & your family. God Bless you Debra.

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